March 23, 2010
Looking at Barbara Reid’s The Gospel According to Matthew page 96 to 98, and the correlating Gospel text, Matthew 19: 1-15. I find lessons in divorce that might help our divorce-focused society out.
The issue of divorce comes into play when a group of Pharisees ask Jesus whether “’It is lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause whatever?’” While Moses made it reasonable to divorce a woman (evidence brought forth by the Pharisees in verse seven) a reasonable cause for divorce had been strongly contested. An example given by Reid is that of Shammai and Hillel. “The latter held that a man could divorce his wife even for spoiling a dish for him, whereas the former argues that only sexual misconduct was grounds for divorce.” Jesus takes a firm stance against divorce, “whoever divorces his wife (unless the marriage is unlawful) and marries another commits adultery” (19:9). Jesus concludes that “it is better not to marry,” which was probably a radical statement for a society where it was unusual to not be married.
But the issue appears to be a bit different when you see it from a 21st Century perspective. I’ve heard people announce that when a man and woman file a prenuptial agreement on dividing their assets when getting married, divorce is almost destined to happen, and that if you’re going to expect a divorce in that manner, it is not worth their time to get married.
I believe that this argument as credence. However, in a society like America, the rising divorce rates have made marriage, which was once a serious and important institution, into something that can usually be seen as momentary and as a great tax break.
Marriage has lost a lot of the reverence that it was given by past generations. As it slowly becomes a middle ground that both religion and government can lay their hands on a world of issues arise, not the least of which is the high divorce rate. The high divorce rate leaves the country with a large number of single mothers, and a lot of scarred children.
Reid goes elaborates on page 98 to discuss why Jesus blesses children so quickly after denouncing divorce. The core of her explanation is on the fact that children “may be the ones who suffer most when the parents are contemplating divorce” (98). This is another theme that we see strongly reflected in current culture. It is not uncommon to hear about parents who “stayed together for their children” to only put their children through unpleasant arguments and stressful living conditions. What may be worse is when children blame themselves for their parent’s divorce, or have to split their time with parents who live in different states, ultimately seeing very little of one parent.
While in some cases it may be better for parents to get divorced than to argue all the time and cause stress on their children, in our society it may help to take Jesus advice, and another look before deciding to tie the knot.